Black Out Queen

A few days back i was jolted into consciousness by a loud 'THUD'!It took me a while to comprehend that it was 'my' head which had thumped hard and it was 'me'that was lying ,rather awkwardly on the floor..I lifted my battered , bruised Self, called for help and a BP instrument..All those who are marvelling at my composure, must be made aware that I have the dubious distinction of being titled the 'Black Out Queen' by the family.
Many years back,i had found myself similarly sprawled in front of a shop at a local market!A crowd had gathered around me and i could hear an experienced bystander saying"Bhenji(?) ko Miranda pilao"!(in India we have this rather widespread epidemic of renaming certain things, like..espresso coffee is express coffee, similarly mirinda, an orange soda is often referred to as Miranda).My son who had accompanied me was standing in one corner shedding copious amount of tears, as he was convinced his mother had rather dramatically, literally and figuratively 'Dropped Dead'!Rather embarrassed at having made a public spectacle of myself, my bruised body and ego,made a somewhat hasty exit back to the car.My son ,very indignantly asked me 'Ma what do you think you were doing?"..My feeble state did not allow me to tell him that i was definately not 'swooning' over the new range of toiletries at the rather uninspiring 'daily needs' store!!
Once attending to my mother who had undergone 'angioplasty', i had found myself with a drip,lying on the attendants couch with my anxious mother attending to me, her recently unblocked arteries threatening closure once again..A couple of years back,making a rare public appearance at a local clubs' charity show of 'Rang De Basanti', i passed out in front of all the distinguished citizens and the cameras!As i was (un) ceremoniously carried out , it 'hit' me 'hard' that my 'Basanti' act had completely taken the edge off Aamir Khans 'colourful' performance!
But the top honours goes to an incident which happened more than a decade ago in a small cantonment of Punjab..My system, as it had done, many a times in the past, went through its temporary state of shutdown and once again i went through the celestial drama being played out at daytime(aka as seeing stars and facing total eclipse !!)
I was alone at home, with a gurkha 'sahayak'in attendance..In my subconscious state, i could sense that i was being dragged,on the floor, from the study to my room, with someone holding one finger each of both my hands!!(propriety prevented the johny from lifting me up )..My omnipresent survival instincts, fearing two fractured fingers , alongwith other injuries sustained, as also not willing to go through the indignity of being dragged like a sack of potatoes, managed to stand and walk on my own, only to pass out again on reaching my bed..I have no idea how long i lay unconscious.When i finally came around, i found a tearful gurkha standing at the edge of my bed asking me 'Mensaab doctor ko phone karoon?'!! I passed out once again ...in horror and amusement.
Till date, i wonder how much time our sincere sahayak had given me and himself before he could call the doctor , if i had not gained consciousness on my own !!