Sunday, August 19, 2012


A couple of weeks back,at around 1.30am,my state of art , inbuilt thermostat sent out a cerebral alarm that all was not well with the temperature of my room.I woke up to find that the AC of the room was working but the lights had gone off.A glow from the crack under the door of the adjoining room, made me reach a logical conclusion that the lights of my room had tripped.I dragged my mentally switched off self to sound the night guard on duty to check out the mains.As i got into the lobby i saw menacing flames and smoke billowing out of the guest room!!
I knocked furiously at my fathers (the only other inhabitant of the house)door, which to my utter dismay was locked.I then did an' Insane Bolt' towards the front door, hysterically shouting for the guard.(For some inexplicable reasons, my fathers main criteria for employing a night guard is that he should be  pint sized, pea brained and totally committed to sleeping on duty).Not getting a response, inflamed at his absence,i entered the burning room with a wet towel wrapped around my head(The Towering Inferno , had been my favourite movie as a teenager) to open out the windows, shouting out to people to switch off the mains.Fortunately the guards , zero watt brain had lit up enough to register a short circuit, and he switched off the mains.The other staff too had woken up and as i unlocked the door , a motley crowd in various stages of undress and panic trooped in.We put out the fire with a few buckets of water.As i stood transfixed, registering all that had happened I felt a splash of water on me, dampening my already dampened spirits.Indignant, i looked back to see my father at the doorway (almost 14 feet away from the source of fire) , with a small mug looking totally perplexed!.
Apparently, after hearing a lot of commotion in the house, he had woken up at some point of time and as always someone who likes to help and be actively involved with the ongoing proceedings , had procured a mug of water to douse out the fire.Needless to say that his spatial and aiming skills are as  unreliable as the electrical circuit of our house !!
 As we sat out gloomily in our garden at 2.30am , waiting for the smoke to clear out of the house, i realized that my fathers reaction was very akin to that of the police in hindi films, who arrive  at the scene of crime or disaster after an unlikely hero (in this case ...yours truly) has saved the day..My soot covered ,damp self chanted a thousand 'ohms' of gratitude ,for having  averted a major calamity......


Eight years back, when i started my school , it was a well thought out ,conscious decision to give the school a simple Hindi name.I was not going to succumb to the local fascination of exotic names like 'Delightful Daffodils','Blooming buds','Cheerful Cherubs' etc and twist the tongues of my toddlers at the very start.
 However, nothing had prepared me for the rather misplaced fondness for spoken English, prevalent amongst the literate parents of this town.I was often told by well meaning guardians that it was my jokey nature and smiley face that endeared the children (I felt like a series of badly illustrated emoticons).Once, on being told that the child had yet to acquire a name, a simple query from me asking as to how they address her, got me a prompt reply 'Chanakyapuri Colony '!Not to be deterred i asked what they call her..'943......007!'(My predicament was akin to a lawyer who is asked by a grim looking judge to rephrase the question as its misleading!).
 A father once told me ( very earnestly ),that my PLAYHOUSE was considered the best in town and he wanted the best exposure (!?!) for his daughter.Indignant as i was, i refrained from telling him that with this kind of reputation his daughter would be 'overexposed' !!Few nights in a row,I dreamt of myself in a garish 18th century Bordello..A set straight out of'Duchess and the dirtwater Fox'. Believe me, such statements can be very insidious at a subconscious level!!.
 A somewhat genial compliment like'Aapki evergreen aur Global personality ki sab tareef karte hain' made me feel fat!I often wonder as to how exactly did the aam junta perceive me?! Even my usually overactive imagination fails to comprehend and my environmental friendly Self starts spinning around its axis in utter confusion..Maybe its my 'Dynamite ' personality which gives rise to such an 'explosive' reputation.
I have decided not to dwell on it much and enjoy the provincial fame for as long as it lasts...