Sunday, January 17, 2010

Musically Challenged

One of the major drawbacks of residing in a smalltown is the lack of options after workhours.All i did till a few years back is read and think.Excess of both proved to be detrimental.My reading glasses changed numbers faster than a lotto machine and well too much thinking almost saw me in a strait jacket.To combat the problem i read some more and thought even harder!!It dawned on me that i needed to develop interests other than reading and introspection.I homed down to learning music.I love music (listening to it)and its always known to be therapeutic.
The next logical step was to find a music teacher.As i sent out feelers to the good samaritans of the town ,i found myself face to face with an 'inconvenient truth'..simply put... my earlier aborted attempts at learning music and singing came back as a flashback of a horror film!
I was 8 yrs old when my mother(an accomplished singer) enrolled me in a music school of some repute.I do recall my first day, when our guru started us on sa,re ga ma...i was wondering how disjointed hindi alphabets qualified as music and i repeated ha,he ha,ha..The class was amused my guruji definitely was not! After a few weeks, i saw him rendering an alaap AAAAAAAAA.His eyes were closed, his mouth could take in the whole universe and with his 3 strands of hair flying,as he vigorously nodded his head.. i thought it was the funniest rendition ever and laughed a very spontaneous and musical HAAAAAAAA.I never went back, i think i was expelled.
My next attempt was at the age of 14 in my boarding school. By now i desperately wanted to sing and was very envious of all the nightingales who sang at various school competitions.My dream of a performance came true when i was selected for the school christmas choir.We were at least 50 of us singing Valerie, partridge on a pear tree etc.All was going well ,till our music teacher told us that we have to change our pitch!Till then ,my pitch had only altered when i was truly animated and i was sure that,that particular shrill sound did not qualify for singing.To my dismay i saw all the singers around me effortlessly switch their pitches while i vascillated between the tenor of row 1and 2 to the soprano of 3 and 4 to something which was uniquely mine.Fearing that i was going to be deprived of my first and only stage performance i lip synced my way through.To add to my misery, two of my dearest friends were very good singers.Being a very bright science student i sat glued to them whenever they sang waiting for the process of osmosis to take place.Needless to say it was an exercise in futility!
I accepted defeat and my musically challenged status in my first year college.Having lived in an all girls boarding school for 6yrs i was ecstatic when i stumbled upon a young man all of 18 yrs old who found me really worthy of attention and affection.We had one thing in common ,our love for music..Spent hours listening to it , talking about it presenting cassettes to each other etc.Till one day ,which at hindsight can only be termed as some misplaced sense of overenthusiasm i decided to sing 'Annies song' to him.I distinctly remember sitting in broad day light on the steps of the Lodhi tomb unaware of the impending doom, singing'you fill up my senses like a night in a forest'.The mortified expression of the object of my affection told me i had assaulted all his senses ,he silently walked me through the daylight of lodhi gardens and vanished forever.I am quick(?) on the uptake and realized, that i could be cerebral but never musical!
As i made this rather uncomfortable journey into the past, i decided that the music teacher who tutored 3yrs old at my playschool was apt for the task! He had the patience ,limited music skills and i was convinced that only he could remove my vocal block.We were to meet 4 times a week at 6 in the evening in the furthest soundproof room of my house!
Determined to succeed i put my heart and soul into my singing..gargled,chewed 'mulatti' ,did riyaz everyday and thought i was doing a good job.The problem remained with the sur, taal and multitasking.I was handling a casio and my vocal chords.If i got the sur and taal right couldnt play the casio, if i got the casio right my sur and taal suffered, but not to be deterred i sang on..After two months i acquired a harmonium.Now there was another task to be accomplished...sing, play the keys and pump air into the instrument!! Unable to accomplish this feat, i bullied my sir to pump while i jabbed at the keys which were more complicated than the casio.By now my Sir was looking a little stressed out,he would tell me very politely from time to time that i was not concentrating on playing the harmonium and my singing( believe me i was)!!I was genuinely happy with my singing and it was taking care of my time.6 months lapsed and neither me or my sir had quit!Until one day i was informed that my seemingly healthy music sir had suffered a heart attack and been advised complete rest!
Till date for some inexplicable reason i feel responsible for his medical condition!

3 comments:

  1. how can i forget your musical talents!! we were in the same boat at school!

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  2. Well the world certainly has lost a great musical diva for lack of a suitable teacher. Lol..... Anyways, I guess you are the kind whom others serenade and you will not lack for music where ever you may be.

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  3. I feel that I should really be the one lamenting my unfortunate legacy. My musical ability (or lack thereof) would compel Tansen to rise from his grave and personally plead me to stop. However, these days my new MO is to think positive. Found this great lecture on TED talks on how "synthetic happiness", that is, persuading oneself that al is well despite it not being so, is as genuine as "natural happiness" (see http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.html). Armed with this revelation I am going to deploy my unique talent (or lack thereof) to aid Indian households get rid of pests without resorting to harmful chemicals

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