A Mov(ie)ng Experience

A few weeks back, as I changed out of a perfectly decent casual attire into a semiformal traditional one ,my son who was visiting me asked,'Werent you supposed to go watch a film?'.'Yes', I replied.'Mother, what is that weird smelling thing you are applying?'Mosquito repellent ,I quipped.As i proceeded to drink a large glass of orange flavoured 'Glucon -D',I saw my son looking puzzled and starting to punch on the keys of his laptop rather aggressively..(I am sure he was googling 'progressive dementia'!)
My pre-movie preparations complete, I left the house to watch 'Patiala House'.I must apprise my readers ,that i have only ventured out twice in eight years for a film in this town,more as a social obligation than for a cinematic experience.Unfortunately i have had the dubious distinction of passing out , both the times before the movie started!I was adamant on not making this a hat-trick and had no intentions of stealing the show from right under the charitable noses of the patrons !!
I reached the movie hall and was received by the President and members of the Club screening the charity show.The President greeted me warmly and gave me a reassuring hug , whispering into my ears'You will be allright'.Another , very diplomatically remarked that she had not seen me for a while and hoped i had been keeping good health..A dear family friend , who had missed the film twice on my account, told me she was carrying orange sweets and a bottle of Mirinda in her bag !!
Sheepishly ,i climbed the steps of the hall.On entering the theatre,I was deluged with a sea of familiar faces.Prominent citizens of the town, my ex, present and future parents, my ex, present and future children, my ex and present staff and innumerable family friends..We were well into the credits by the time i finally finished with my social rounds..
I was just settling down in my assigned seat , when a lady in front of me shouted out to her friend not to occupy J5!Apparently, the seat slided up and down on its own and had the cushioning ripped off so one could actually feel the iron bars (OUCH!!)I found myself nervously jumping on my seat and checking the reclining mechanism (which did not work ).I sat upright , without complaining...I was going to last through the film and enjoy it !!
Just when i had started to make sense out of the nonsensical happenings on the screen, I was blinded by a bright spotlight on my face! I was rather confused as to why the usherers were using spotlights instead of flashlights in this town.I was informed that it was the cameraman from a local TV channel covering the event !!
Half way through the film, suddenly there was a lot of tittering and excitement amongst the audience.Fearing , a local politician/ senior bureaucrat making a habitual late entry , i looked towards the entrance.I saw a few people carrying huge cartons..Packed boxes of snacks started getting distributed .Loud cries of approval and disappointment followed.I was negotiating my snack pack in the dark when I found a huge tray bearing soft drinks perched on my head, as the viewers in the back row helped themselves and passed on the glasses at a leisurely pace !!!My protests fell on deaf ears..Several more interruptions later (power failure, announcement of lucky draw winners etc..)the movie finally ended..
I left the movie hall with a broad smile on my face..I realized that 'going to the movies', a regular outing anywhere in the world is an event to be experienced in my small town !!

Wanted-TLC

A couple of weeks back ,my father made an unusual request..that of a cellphone instrument!Alarmed, i immediately set out to fetch the BP instrument, simultaneously questioning him on his need for the much loathed cellphone.Sheepishly he informed me ,that he needed to go mobile as both the LL numbers were out of order.Apparently, while digging up the roads in order to broaden them the workers had erroneously chopped off the telephone cables and narrowed down our communication options considerably.Since i rarely use the LL i consoled my father saying that communication was a very small price to pay for Development!It took all of 5 days and daily persistence to repair my fathers severed LL(lifeline..)
A few days back,my smugness evaporated and i found myself steaming as i realized that my cellphone had been disconnected!I sent out the most capable and resourceful staff i have to put me out of my misery.My persistent queries were answered by a BSNL official..'Hamne Kolkata baat ki hai aapka number phans gaya hai!'.While the world is rejoicing the birth of new phone technologies and Apples brilliant innovations,my town is struggling with a 19th century Exchange where numbers get stuck !!Moreover, it took a stray call after 3 days to realize that it was only my outgoing calls which were barred!!My sorrow swelled up like the'Yang Tse' river.Finally all the recorded messages stating'this number does not have an identity','this no. has ceased to exist,' it seemed had made me ceased to exist for all my friends and family.
This weekend after a drought of calls , i headed for the LL to talk to my son in the US.Once again it was not working.This time 700mts of cable had been pilfered.I was not at all perturbed, on the contrary rather proud of my small town .While the Nation is dealing with its multi crore 2G scams, the people weighing the pros and cons of Congress vs Progress and with all the eruption against corruption..this town like a small Gaulish village was dealing with simple everyday petty thefts !!!
I sincerely think that the early 70's with its manual exchange where the telephone operator asked for the 3 digit 'Number pleej', was a more comprehensive and sure way of communicating in this part of the country.
As things stand today, I am in dire need of TLC(Telephone-LL or Cell)..With my phone now being used as a camera and a juke box, maybe i should just capture the moment and dance may way through the crisis..After all i am in Neverland, from Graham Bells invention to the idyllic world of Tinker Bell-not bad at all !!!!!

Dumb Belle...

Einstien said that'Imagination is intelligence having fun'.Well i am known to have a lot of fun but i do fear it has little to do with my intellect !!Lately to my dismay, i have noticed that the grey matter is getting covered by an impregnable layer of soot.The fact that i work with preschoolers is not helping either.I have regressed to being a child in every which way.It is a very happy albeit a mentally challenged state to be in!
Once considered a very bright student of math, now at the mention of 'Calculus', i dimly recall a character from my favourite comic book.I invariably cringe when my son and a dear friend discuss books, effortlessly recalling details down to the publisher and the edition and i am struggling with the title and author of a recently read one !I knew the situation was grave and the 'brain drain' had reached gutteral levels ,when at the gym i reached out for the dumb bells and the treadmill refusing to raise the bar.
Sometime back, a friend and well wisher, tired of my lamenting had suggested i take to playing 'Bridge'.It would take care of my time as well as keep me mentally agile(I do feel he was making some sort of a statement here!!).Never to bypass an opportunity which improves my quality of life or mind ,i took on 'Project Bridge' with utmost commitment and sincerity.
It took me five minutes to download the tutorial and forever to upload it in my head!My love affair with the game started instantly.I took down notes, quizzed myself, played against robots who reported mechanical failure as their Artificial Intelligence could not match my non existent one , played against novices and got abused via cyberspace.In short , i had taken to the game like a half dead fish to murky or oil spilled waters!! Whenever i thought i had made some headway , the game got trickier, revealing another level , another facet!
As mentioned earlier ,my brain responds to only simple,anything complex threatens to shut it down.All self help books had led me to believe that one should live for the moment.In Bridge this is akin to certain death.Here you have to think about the past, the present and the future in one single moment.Once again i was faced with the dilemma, of whether i should keep my life simple and abandon this game or pursue it relentlessly ,regardless of the fact that it was doing little to improve my cerebral status. As always i took the 'Middle Path' and have taken to Kibitzing ( watching a game, in Bridge parlance).
I find myself back to square one..But i will not loose heart or club myself , but call a spade a spade and someday shine like a (crazy!?!) diamond.I am sanguine there will be a Bridge over these troubled waters soon..
PS. I have recently taken to writing with my left hand,.My rudimentary knowledge of pedagogy and physiology tells me that it develops the right side of the brain related to creativity !!

On Love....

There are some who walked with me,

some who walked past..

There are some who stayed on,

some who did not last..

Sands of time have blown many a footprint away,

but the impressions are embedded deep within my heart...

I have lost some to life,

and some to death..

But i believe in love,

And will do so till my very last breath..

There will be many seasons under the sun,

But none that i will ever regret.....

My Friend 'The Alchemist'....A Tribute

It was not with shock but a sense of closure that i received the news of my friend passing away.Magnanimous as he was, he had given all of us, who cared for him , time to prepare ourselves for his final departure.As always , he remained isolated in his suffering, which he faced with great fortitude and dignity. But nothing had prepared me for the shadow which cast over my within, on getting the news.I remember, once on having argued vehemently against his statement that 'grief is unneccessary on Death',he had smiled at me indulgently and told me that i was blessed with a rare sensitivity and generosity of spirit,and someday i would figure it out(he had this habit of making radical statements and then inspiring you to apply yourself ,think and figure it out !)..I know now, what he meant was, that we are so preoccupied with our personal loss that we take away the worthiness that belonged to the person when he/she were alive .Even in Death( which is inevitable) we have to rejoice Life!!
I called him the 'Alchemist' for the chemistry graduate he was, (IIT Delhi,Princeton) and for the spiritual companion and guide that he had become..I last spoke to him a few months back.Anguished by his feeble voice and pain i had cried out WHY???Gently, he had said,"Think of it this way , how many people in their lifetime get an opportunity to experience the love and caring of all those associated with them..I have the good fortune of getting a glimpse of the legacy i am leaving behind".That was Ravi,at 50 he had the wisdom of the hills.
To my music loving 'rocker' friend i say.....
Ledzep(his net pseudonym) , you have found your 'Stairway to Heaven'...Enjoy the gig buddy!
To the cricket lover i say...
Your inning was short, not for lack of skill or will to play on, but because the umpire made a very hasty decision!
To the film critic , a student of film and media(Mass Comm, Jamia Milia) , i add..
Your vision was acutely perceptive, your script eclectic your execution , unique and non conformist!
To the one who loved books i say...
Your biography was not voluminous but meaningful and rich in its brevity and content!
To the chemistry teacher who loved his subject and students , i say..
You have influenced and inspired so many young minds, put them on the path to find their own 'Pot of Gold'.You were truly the 'Alchemist'!
To the Thinker, and Spiritualist i say...
Go explore the 'Alternate Universe', at leisure my friend..Its gain is our loss!!
To the devoted father i say...
You taught them well,you will live on in them and from where ever you are, always watching over them!
For my friend ,i quote a few lines i had written a few years back which he liked..
'Like my young wards , i am spellbound when a beautiful flower suddenly appears my way.
I am delighted by the colors that abound and the fragrance which fills my senses.
When the flower starts to wilt, i dont cast it away , but preserve it gently in my book of thoughts.If perchance ,i come upon that page, i take a while and once again savor all the moments when the flower was in its full bloom, and.... Move On....'
PS..YOU WILL BE MISSED...

My Wayward National Leaders

The past few weeks has seen me,like most Indians outraged at the absurd levels of corruption preceding the CWG, making the headlines.I personally felt that at 63 the Nation was displaying the energy of the old and the wisdom of the young.My observation seemed more or less accurate as i witnessed an impromptu, unrehearsed and spontaneous drama ,an in house production by my preschoolers on the occasion of Independence Day yesterday!!
15th August, like every year saw me greeting my little wards indulgently,as they trooped in as National leaders (4 Jawaharlal Nehrus , 2 Indira Gandhis, a M.K Gandhi ,Bhagat Singh etc etc.)There were few excited patriots dressed in white kurta pajamas and of course as it happens every year, a few 'liberal, apolitical, followers of the 'Non Cooperation Movement',( much to the despair of their enthusiastic parents), in civvies..
As is customary, i went in to check on the children and settle them down before we started the celebrations.I noticed that 'Gandhiji' was sandwiched between a sulking Indira Gandhi and a 'hangdog' looking Bhagat Singh. ( The real Bhagat Singh too would have sported the same look, seeing the state of his beloved country and his sacrifice going in vain).Kasturba Gandhi,sat far away from M.K.Gandhi , not even acknowledging his presence!!(Not surprising, Gandhiji was a great leader but a rather difficult and demanding husband).A very spiffy Jawaharlal no.1 sat next to a very graceful Sarojini Naidu .J.Nehru no 2 scribbled on the blackboard( a rough draft of 'Discovery of India , i presume!!).Subhash Chandra Bose looked completely lost ( rightly so, the mystery of his being lost and located deepens with every researcher..)The regular patriots ,were the most comfortable and active of the lot, as they did not have a role to play and did not have to live upto any expectations ...So they pranced around the room ,waving their flags and shouting 'Jai Hind ' from time to time.In short , the stage was set.
The action started with a loud war cry from 'Gandhiji, who to our dismay had turned violent and was brandishing his stick rather menacingly at Indira Gandhi who had patted his head and Bhagat singh who had put a finger through his glasses which did not have a lens!!My staff moved quickly, (we are an extremely vigilant task force trained to handle such attacks especially on 'Important occasions'!)and extricated the walking stick from a rather aggressive Gandhiji and diffused the crisis.A very sad Gandhi,threw away his glasses and started weeping silently with his head tucked between his bent knees.(As i consoled him i saw no point in explaining to him that our 'Father of the Nation'too must be reconsidering his non violent stance and really wanting to beat some sense into the leaders of today!)..
Meanwhile our dashing Jawahar no 1 was sprawled on the floor most inappropriately, throwing a real tantrum!Sarojini Naidu had taken away his rose ans was now sitting chewing on the rose petals!!(Panditji, however fond he was of Sarojini Naidu would have found her public display of affection ,'politically incorrect' and reacted !!).My innovative staff moved in swiftly and somewhat managed to pacify an indignant Nehru , by tucking a rather tacky plastic tulip in his buttonhole!!(Very reminiscint, of the famous' Indian Jugadh'.)
Fearing , a deeper National crisis , arising from more differences of opinion, we fast forwarded the proceedings, calmed our agitated leaders and managed to lead a Peace March for the flag hoisting!I looked on with immense pride as a very disciplined and mature motley of 3yr old, leaders patriots and the 'aam junta', sang the National Anthem ,and performed other patriotic songs with great dignity and enthusiasm..
Completely exhausted, i reflected over the mornings proceedings and realized ,that our country and its people ,may be far from perfect, have glaring flaws ,are completely chaotic but we do manage to overcome adversities and 'Rise to the occasion'! JAI HIND !

Forget And Forgive

The much touted, often preached'forgive and forget' has never made sense to me as i personally think that it is unneccessary to hold anything against anybody in the first place.BUT,as a parent to forget(in the middle of nowhere)an adult over 6ft son, i am told by all, is unforgivable!
First, a brief insight into my second born sons',first rate habits.Eversince he was born, if left idle for more than 5mins he goes into'stand by' ,longer than that invariably he switches to'sleep mode'.On vacations we have to put up with some sort of a heap of human form lying untidily in some part of the house, dead to the world!Our natural anxiety makes us check on his vitals from time to time.My maternal instincts,many a times have considered putting him on a 'drip' fearing a malnourished child.Other than that, he is the only person i know, whose laundry basket contains clean and dirty clothes.His apartment is known to have reached such critical levels of (in)sanitation, that the building had to be evacuated and fumigated! In the kitchen he is a hazard to himself and mankind, and for some strange reason takes 'baby aspirin' for severe burns!To cut the very long story short, lets just say, that he has turned out exactly how i have brought him up to be 'highly individualistic'!It is no surprise then,that, he was the one chosen for an experience which only the script writers of 'Home Alone' and 'Everybody loves Raymond' could think of...
A few years back,when i was visiting the boys in the US,we were invited to my nieces Graduation.After partying the whole day , we excused ourselves and left early as we had to leave for California on a week long road trip.
I settled my somewhat 'high spirited' and weary self on the front seat of the car for a rather long uninspiring drive.My younger son , as is his habit,consigned his wallet, phone and other such essentials into my bag,put on some music ,stretched himself out like a boa constrictor on the back seat and switched on his 'mute' button.We made a brief stopover at a gas station and moved on.I promptly dozed off and my elder son (probably reflecting on the complex philosophy of existentialism to keep himself awake ) drove on , as the most alert member of a rather sluggish family.
I was awakened by the shrill sound of the phone ringing and a conversation which ended in my son saying rather animatedly'Hold on , we are just turning around'.A little confused at this sudden change of plan, i asked my son the reason.He told me to look at the back, which i did and to my
extreme horror saw nothing !!!!!!!Deep in thought,with very ambivalent feelings and in complete silence we retraced our route.Without any warning, my elder son started chuckling and then laughing hysterically, not believing that his most frequent dream had come true!?!(Both my boys, for reasons best known to them,have fantasised with alarming consistency and are almost obsessed with the idea of being an 'only child'!)
All this while, my younger son feeling totally abandoned,was riding probably the worst emotional roller coaster ride of his life at the gas station!He had returned from his very secret and private visit to the restroom to find the car missing.It took his idle brain, sometime to register that he had been left behind.The many disadvantages of relinquishing responsibility of personal possessions at the first instance dawned on him.He narrated his tragic circumstances to the lady at the gas station to borrow her phone and call up the brother.She apparently remarked incredulously'Your own brother and biological mother have left you ????'
On reaching the gas station after almost two hrs(we had travelled a distance of almost 80 km)i ejected out of the car to give my warmest ever hug to my coldest ever son!Giving the nature of our relationship,the 'killer' looks were not translated into action.The elder brother(giving the nature of their relationship)was not spared.I was aghast to hear my sons most colourful repertoire of multilingual abuses!!(I realized he had grown up , for as a child i had only once heard him call his brother a 'bloody basket'!!)
Fortunately, this appalling drama of sibling affection ended with Act 1 itself as the lady from the gas station came running out to greet us.Gleefully she exclaimed'Man i have to see this family'!(I think 'dysfunctional' was omitted deliberately).We gave her our broadest and fakest ever smiles(vanity runs in the family, and we want to look our photogenic best when on public display!!)
After a brief family huddle ,we huddled into the car.My elder son showing extreme maturity and putting his grievances aside( to be dealt with at another more appropriate time and place) requested the younger brother to keep this a 'family secret', which of course never happened as in the next 1 hour every one he knew on this planet was informed !!
PS..This post is meant as a public apology to my son, for having abandoned my special 360' mothers' vision when he was 10!